Perception is Reality

I’ve figured out the key to happiness, and I’ve done it by using Isiah Thomas as my model. I’ve decided that Isiah is the happiest person on the planet. Most of you might think otherwise, being that he is one of the most hated GM’s in the NBA.

He is the only GM in the NBA who had an informal press conference outside his arena, where the Knick fans issued him a pink slip. He had his starting point guard blackmail him for playing time. He lost a sexual harassment suit that cost his company 11.5 million dollars. The Knicks haven’t even sniffed .500 since Isiah took over (39 wins is the most wins they achieved in a season under his tutelage), they currently stand at 8-22. The once proud Madison Square Garden is filled with Boos and “Fire Isiah” chants, instead of the applause and roars of the crowd that used to be heard when the team was of a championship caliber.

All these reasons might lead you to believe that President/Coach Thomas is one click of the trigger away from ending his professional career, and going to live with the Amish in Pennsylvania never to be heard from again. But you would be wrong, my friend. Instead, Isiah is as confident and optimistic as ever. Read this sports illustrated article:

Delusional Isiah says he will lead the Knicks to a Championship

Here are the quotes I want to focus on:

"I believe that one day we will win a championship here," Thomas said. "And I believe a couple of these guys will be a part of that. And I believe I'll be a part of that."

"I don't necessarily just want to win a championship. I want to leave something that's going to stand for a long time. I want to leave a legacy, I want to leave tradition," Thomas said. "I want to leave an imprint, a blueprint in terms of how people play, and how they coach and how they respond when they put on the Knick uniform.

“De Plane! De Plane!”

Yes, that was Tatto from Fantasy Island. The plane has just arrived and its guest of honor is Isiah Thomas. His hallucination gets even worse when you hear him make these comments:

"I like the direction we're headed," Thomas said Friday, before his team lost to the Bobcats. "I've said this before: our future is definitely much brighter than it was when I got here four years ago. Cost-wise we're down. Talent-wise we're up. We did a good job of putting people in the seats. I think we're pretty close this year to getting back on track again."

"The victories will start to come," Thomas said. "From where we were to where we are this is the time you start taking steps forward. Last year I thought we had a chance to make the playoffs. I think this year we'll have a chance to make the playoffs. The way the East is now, there are five or six teams searching to find themselves and we're one of them. I think there'll be three or four of those teams that will find themselves, head into the playoffs and I think we'll be one of them."

If Isiah can be happy and confident in the wake of what he has done to the marquee franchise of the NBA, than sign me up! Perception is reality, and Isiah has created an alternate reality that rivals Narnia; a universe where he is successful. It must be a beautiful place for him to be able to forget about not only his current failures and short comings, but also his past (destroying the CBA and the Pacers).

I imagine there are no talking lions, dwarfs or Centaurs. Just Isiah sitting on his throne, casting out the non-believers, and granting the Knicks a championship year after year; in spite of the fact that the team is poorly contrived, selfish and inept. Isiah is not only the Knicks President and Coach, but the NBA commissioner and President of the whole world! He is so beloved and revered that everyone talks in a soft high voice to emulate His Greatness. He can call women bitches and invite them to meet him “off-site” with no repercussions of any kind. In fact, these women accept his invitation and make him a very happy man. His players can’t blackmail him because his indiscretions are known and accepted, much like Bill Clinton.

Isiah, I’m going to follow your lead. I vow to be successful, happy and optimistic regardless of the miserable failure I may be at any given time. I will also continue to tell the world about how victorious I have become and will continue to be. Perception is reality.